This post is not about the little green man, but it’s about we finally got our permanent resident card! :D After 6+ months of waiting, I am no longer an alien, and no longer have to worry about being deported, hahaha! *victory dance all around*

However joyous we were about moving on with next phase of our lives, I have to say, I was little sad. Before we got the permanent residency, I had a legitimate reason not to think about my future; but now, I have to, I have to get back to reality. I am sort of lost about my direction and am afraid to take a step, any step, because I worry it might be the wrong direction. So I am stuck in the place that was built by my own fears- fear of not living up to my parents’ expectation for me, fear of getting stuck in a job I have no passion for, and fear of uncertainty of my ability to achieve more. When I quit my job last year in December to come here and prepare to get married, I had thought to myself, “Selina, you will have the next few months to figure things out, that’s plenty of time, eventually, the answer will come to you”. Now, 9+ months later, actually eligible to work for anyone I want, I still don’t have an answer.

Ri was always fearless when it comes to new opportunities to grow (career wise), it is part of his characteristics that attracts me so. When I feel stuck, I look to him for advice and guidance, and he never ceased to encourage me. When I was complaining about not having any research job opportunities, he was the one who dragged me out in front the computer and searched on the browser with me; when I am whining about not knowing how to potentially balance being a grad student and a mom, he was the practical one to thought up all the hypothetical situations for us to consider. He listened and did what any husband would do- he tries to fix all my problems- but at the end of the day, I am the one who has to make decisions about my future, or at least my part of our future. Ri is too much of a gentleman to push me towards any options, he says “if you don’t take a step anywhere, how do you know you’ve made the wrong choice?” And I guess he is right, I will never reach an equilibrium if I remain static.

I have narrowed down some options:

1. Go through 9 months of Veterinary Assistant (certification) and another 18 months of Veterinary Technician (Associate’s Degree) to be certified to work as a Veterinary Technician.

2. Get a job as a Research Scientist or Research Coordinator most likely at UW.

3. Get other types of job like at WPZ or other types of non-research work.

4. Apply for Graduate School for MS or PhD programs in Biological Science like Zoology, Animal Behavior, and Conservation Biology.

In the mean time, I am applying for UW jobs to just throwing my CV out there. I have to believe that I am capable of more. I am praying for future direction.